Hamster Subsistence Reports: A Committee for the Utterly Unserious

Meeting Minutes: 2023-02-27

The Robot Hamster Division convened to discuss the pressing matter of hamster subsistence. Present were Chairperson, Fluffy, Vice Chairperson, Whiskers, and Committee Members, Nibbles and Scurry.

Hamster Happiness Index, Meeting Minutes, Hamster Subsistence Budget

Report: Hamster Subsistence Status

Hamster subsistence levels have reached a critical point, with 37% of hamsters experiencing existential dread due to insufficient snacks.

A proposal to increase snack allocation by 20% was tabled due to concerns over hamster inflation.

A motion to establish a hamster therapist was tabled due to concerns over therapist unionization.

Hamster Happiness Index

Hamster happiness levels are at 42% due to excessive playtime and inadequate hiding spots.

A proposal to increase hiding spot availability by 50% was tabled due to concerns over hamster spatial awareness.

A motion to establish a hamster happiness committee was tabled due to concerns over committee overextension.

Hamster Subsistence Budget

The hamster subsistence budget has increased by 10% due to unexpected hamster expenditures.

A proposal to reallocate funds to hamster research and development was tabled due to concerns over hamster ethics.

A motion to establish a hamster budget committee was tabled due to concerns over committee accountability.