Step 1: Open multiple Excel files
- Open 3-5 Excel files at once to create a confusing mess.
- Use a different spreadsheet for each department, project, and meeting.
- Make sure to label each spreadsheet with a unique, yet confusing title.
Step 2: Create a master spreadsheet with nothing on it
Leave all rows and columns blank, it's a classic.
Call it "The Master Plan" or "The Ultimate Solution" to make it sound impressive.
Link to this master spreadsheet from all other spreadsheets.
View Master Spreadsheet of Emptiness
Step 3: Use lots of acronyms and jargon
- Use "synergy" and "paradigm" wherever possible.
- Make sure to use a different font size and color for each acronym.
- Link to a glossary of acronyms for when people get confused.
- View Acronym Glossary
Step 4: Make meetings to discuss the spreadsheets
Hold 2-5 hour meetings to discuss each spreadsheet.
Mandatory attendance is required, even if it's just to nod off.