Penalty Shot Execution Tactics
For the sake of committee efficiency, the following tactics have been established for penalty shot execution.
Tactic 1: The Frenemy Flick
When faced with a tricky shot, take a moment to gaze intensely at your opponent, daring them to try their luck.
- Make sure to wear a pair of sunglasses to enhance intimidation.
- Consider a well-placed "Hrrrmph" to really drive the point home.
Tactic 2: The Distractor
Distract your opponent with a series of increasingly loud and obnoxious "Oooh, look! A squirrel!"s.
- Make sure to point out a few nearby squirrels to really sell the illusion.
- Take care not to actually have any squirrels nearby, or you'll be the one who's distracted.
Subcommittee 2: Shot-Guarding for Dummies
For those of us who struggle with basic math, a simple "I'll just stand here and look pretty" approach has been established.
- Just stand there, looking stern and unapproachable.
- Don't worry, it's not like anyone will actually try to pass.