A: Because we're still waiting for our cookie supplier, Bertrand, to get his act together. Apparently, he's been having trouble sourcing the perfect cookie-to-human ratio.
Go to Subpage 6 for more information on Bertrand's supply chain issues
A: You can survive on a diet of pure, unadulterated disappointment. Or, you know, just go buy a cookie elsewhere. We're not judging you.
Check out our comprehensive guide on survival techniques, including the ancient art of eating a rock
A: Guilty as charged. But don't worry, we're rationing them out amongst ourselves, and only the most worthy of us gets the last cookie. Don't ask questions.
View our confidential documents revealing the truth about our cookie hoarding
And that's it for now. Thanks for playing along, cookie-less friend!