We, the People, hereby declare that all citizens are entitled to a minimum of 5 slices of free cheese per day. Any attempts to restrict or deny this right shall be met with fierce resistance and possibly a strong stomachache.
In an effort to maintain a balanced and healthy diet, citizens are required to consume a maximum of 7 slices of cheese per day. Exceed this limit and face the consequences of a gouda-gone-wrong.
Citizens with fuzzy borders (i.e., those with excessive cheese consumption) shall be granted special dispensations and discounts on all cheese purchases, as long as they agree to participate in regular cheese-themed sensitivity training sessions.
Learn more about our Sensitivity Training Program!