DO NOT LEAVE US ALONE WITH THE CHEESE Read Article 2: Hamster Liability **ARTICLE 2: HAMSTER LIABILITY** We, the Hamster Empire, are not responsible for your hamster's existential dread of being woken up at 3 AM for food. You're on your own there. DO NOT FORGET TO TURN ON THE LASER TOY Read Article 3: Hamster Safety Protocols **ARTICLE 3: HAMSTER SAFETY PROTOCOLS** We, the Hamster Empire, are not responsible for your hamster's ninja training program gone wrong. You're on your own for that too. DON'T LET US GET BETWEEN THE TOYS Read Article 4: Hamster Dispute Resolution **ARTICLE 4: HAMSTER DISPUTE RESOLUTION** If your hamster disputes your authority, we, the Hamster Empire, are not responsible for mediating hamster vs. human disputes. That's on you.