Warning: Hamster Safety Protocols are highly classified information. Viewing this content may cause excessive happiness, spontaneous outbursts of cuteness, or sudden urges to buy hamster-themed merchandise.
**Classified Document:** Hamster Safety Protocol Level 3: "Hamster-Handling Hazards and Emergency Procedures"
**Section 1: Hamster-Related Trauma Response Protocols
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Hamster Whistleblower Policy: We're Watching You (Even If We're Not)
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