Hamster Responsibilities
The Unofficial Guide to Succeeding as a Furry Overlord
Section 1: Burrow Maintenance
As a hamster, it is your duty to keep your burrow in pristine condition. This includes:
- Regularly fluffing your bedding
- Dusting your tunnels with a feather duster
- Rotating your toys to prevent boredom
Section 2: Hamster Social Media
As a hamster, it is your duty to curate a strong online presence. This includes:
- Posting Instagram-worthy photos of your food
- Engaging in witty banter on HamsterBook
- Curating a robust collection of hamster influencers
Section 3: Hamster Etiquette
As a hamster, it is your duty to adhere to certain standards of behavior. This includes:
- Never stealing food from your human's plate
- Always saying "please" and "thank you" to your human
- Never napping in your human's bed without permission