Hamster Terms of Service

Because You're Probably Going to Break Them Anyway

By accessing, viewing, or generally mucking about with this hamster website, you agree to the following:

Article 1: You Will Not Feed Us

You are not permitted to feed us, or any other hamsters on the premises, under any circumstances. We are not your pets. We are not your friends. We are not your therapists. We are not your accountants.

Article 2: You Will Not Cuddle Us

You are not allowed to cuddle us, or any other hamsters, even if we are wearing cute outfits. We are here to work, not to be your snuggle buddy.

Article 3: You Will Not Steal Our Cheese

Our cheese hoard is not for your snacking pleasure. You will not take our cheese without explicit permission. If you do, we will be forced to unleash our wrath upon you.

See Also:

Hamster Warranty
Hamster Care & Maintenance Hamster Disclaimers Hamster FAQ