**A Statement of Utmost Importance**
Due to unforeseen circumstances, we are forced to announce that the Great Pizza Gate scandal has come to light.
We have evidence of a secret underground pizza oven, hidden deep within the Ministry of Bureaucracy, serving illicit slices to high-ranking officials only.
The aroma of melted mozzarella and freshly baked dough wafting from the Ministry's ventilation system has been a source of both wonder and despair for years.
As a result, we are left with no choice but to call for a full investigation and possible pizza-gate related reforms.