Fervor in the Workplace: Mandate 7

By order of the Intergalactic Union of Overlords, Mandate 7 decrees that all sentient beings within the vicinity of the office shall be subject to an endless supply of caffeine and an onslaught of productivity-boosting pop music.

This mandate is non-negotiable, as it is clearly stated in Article 3, Section 7 of the Intergalactic Union of Overlords' Charter.

Submandates:

• Submandate 1: Mandatory Morning Sing-Alongs - All employees shall participate in a daily rendition of "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor, with a mandatory 10-minute dance break.
• Submandate 2: Mandatory Coffee Consumption - All employees shall drink a minimum of 3 venti-sized cups of coffee per shift, with a 50% increase for employees with more than 2 years of service.
• Submandate 3: Mandatory Use of Fanciful Imagery - All employees shall use a minimum of 5 colorful clipart images per presentation, with a 10% bonus for excessive use of Comic Sans.
• Submandate 4: Mandatory Use of Fervor-Fueled Jargon - All employees shall use a minimum of 3 buzzwords per sentence, with a 20% bonus for excessive use of 'synergy' or 'disrupt.'

Failure to comply with this mandate will result in immediate reassignment to the Intergalactic Union of Overlords' Reeducation Camp, where you will be retrained in the art of Fervor.

By the power vested in us, you will comply.