Because who needs actual productivity when you can have bubbly?
Effective immediately, every Friday shall be Prosecco Day. All employees are required to bring in a bottle of Prosecco and a cheese plate to share with their coworkers.
This mandate is non-negotiable. Failure to comply will result in a written warning and a mandatory attendance at a team-building trust-building exercise involving a trust fall and a trusty stapler.
Side effects of this mandate may include:
Questions or concerns? Contact your HR representative for more information.
Other Mandates:
Disclaimer: The above mandates are entirely fictional and not actually enforceable. Or are they?