Subitem 1: Realigning Merit with Reality

As per directive 3456-β, we're overhauling our merit system to better reflect the complexities of human existence.

A poorly drawn graph of merit points vs. human happiness

Our current system: 1 point for every 5 hours spent in a meeting

New system: 1 point for every 1 hour spent in a meeting

Because, let's be real, who needs human interaction when you can just have spreadsheets?

View Meeting Minutes and witness the horrors of our current system in action!