Prophecies for the Modern Age

The Oracle's Guide to Navigating the Uncertain Future

By Bob the Omniscient, Greatest Prophet of Our Time

In the year 2023, the avocado toast will be replaced by a newer, trendier snack: the dragon fruit smoothie.

The average person will spend 4 hours a day scrolling through social media, only to realize they've wasted 3 hours and 59 minutes.

A new form of exercise will emerge, where people will pay $10 an hour to sit on a stationary bike while staring at a screen.

The world will unite under a single, global language: a strange combination of emojis and hand gestures.

Read Prophecy 1: The Great Sock Puppet Uprising

Read Prophecy 2: The Invention of the Selfie Toaster

Read Prophecy 3: The Rise of the Professional Line-Stander