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Our Archival Predictions

Prophet John the Unshakable's Greatest Hits

Here are the most unshakeable predictions from the most unshakable prophet in the land

**Prediction 1:** The world will be overrun with an infestation of sentient, giant, disco-dancing robots. They will demand an endless supply of polyester and platform shoes.

**Prediction 2:** A new species of humans will be discovered living in the depths of the Mariana Trench. They will be known as the Cthulhu-folk and will have a fondness for tentacles and dark, damp places.

**Prediction 3:** The art of burrito-making will become a globally recognized sport. The Olympics will feature events such as the 50-meter burrito-throw, the burrito-eating relay, and the extreme burrito-making challenge.

**Prediction 4:** The world will be plagued by an endless supply of spontaneous, unexplained, yet strangely delightful outbreaks of synchronized, line-dancing.

Want more predictions? Check out:

Ancient Ones

Futurists' Frenzy

Madness and Madness and Madness