Problem Statement
We've been trying to sell you this thing for weeks, but we still can't seem to get it right. It's like we're speaking different languages or something.
We need a solution that will finally, finally, make you understand the value proposition.
Solution: The Answer to All Our Prayers
It's simple: we'll just... just... repeat ourselves.
That's right. We'll just keep saying the same thing over and over until you get it.
Alternative Solution: The Answer to All Our Prayers (Plus a Free Gift)
We'll just... uh... not repeat ourselves. And as a special bonus, we'll throw in a free toaster.