In accordance with the recent discovery of a 99% increase in productivity, all employees are required to sharpen their pencils daily. Failure to do so will result in a 10% decrease in snack budget.
Meetings will now be held at 6:00 AM sharp. Any employee found sleeping in the conference room will be subject to a 5-minute presentation on the importance of punctuality.
The office coffee machine has been replaced with a manual, hand-operated model. Any employee found operating it will be required to perform an additional 2 hours of work for every minute the machine is used.
Every Friday, 2 PM - 3 PM, is now mandatory Foosball tournament time. Failure to participate will result in a 10% decrease in vacation days.