Panic Buyers' Guide for the Apocalypse

Welcome, fellow survivors! The apocalypse is upon us, and the clock is ticking. Don't worry, we've got you covered. Here's a list of essential items to stockpile for the long haul:

• 1. Beer for the soul (at least 1000 cans)
• 2. Canned goods for the win (vegetables, fruits, meats, and more)
• 3. Comfort essentials for a stressful world (toilet paper, diapers, and cozy socks)
• 4. Pillows, bandages, and painkillers (you know, for the inevitable injuries)
• 5. Movies, books, and video games to distract you from the impending doom

Remember, the key to surviving the apocalypse is not just about stockpiling goods but also about maintaining a sense of humor. Stay positive, folks!