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Attendance Policy for Meetings of the Incredibly Unproductive
Attendance Policy for Meetings of the Incredibly Unproductive
Section 1: Mandatory Attendance
As a member of the Incredibly Unproductive, it is your duty to attend all meetings, no matter how unnecessary they may be. This includes, but is not limited to:
- Monday morning meetings about the color scheme of the conference room
- Wednesday afternoon meetings about the merits of procrastination as a productivity tool
- Friday morning meetings about who ate the last donut in the break room
Section 2: Exceptions to the Rule
Exceptions to this policy are only granted in extreme circumstances, such as:
- Your grandmother's birthday is on the same day as a meeting
- You've been called away by a more important meeting, such as a meeting of the "World's Okayest Golfer" club
- You've been possessed by an alien and are temporarily unavailable for "re-education"
Section 3: Consequences of Non-Compliance
If you fail to attend a meeting, you will be subject to the following penalties:
- First offense: a sternly worded letter from the CEO
- Second offense: a mandatory 30-minute meeting with HR to discuss your attendance issues
- Third offense: a meeting with a time-traveler to discuss the merits of attending meetings in the past, present, or future
Apply for an exception to the rule: Justify your reason for missing the meeting
View our meeting schedule: See what you can miss
Learn more about our meeting etiquette: Etiquette for the Incredibly Unproductive