The coffee machine has broken down again. This time it's not just a matter of pressing the reset button, but rather a full-blown existential crisis. We're talking Phase 2, people.
Reports are coming in that the machine is experiencing a severe case of the "Sudden Onset Coffee Deprivation Syndrome" (SOCD). Symptoms include:
As we navigate this crisis, we urge all affected parties to remain calm and carry on. We are working tirelessly to resolve this situation.
For updates, follow us on the Twitter for live updates from the scene.
We have also set up a Support Group for those affected by the SOCD. Join us and find solace in the company of fellow coffee-lovers.