Coffee Machine Emergency: Possible Causes

The coffee machine has stopped producing the life-giving elixir that is coffee. This is a serious situation. Here are possible causes:

Reason 1: Out of Beans

The most common cause of a coffee machine emergency. It's like the machine is just standing there, staring at you with an empty bean hopper. Solution: Refill the hopper. Duh.

Reason 2: Waterlogged Brain (the machine, not you)

The machine has become waterlogged, and its brain has short-circuited. Solution: Turn it off and back on. Like, seriously, just turn it off and on.

Reason 3: Overly-Enthusiastic Cleaning

Some overzealous maintenance person has scrubbed the machine with a wire brush, causing the delicate electronics to go haywire. Solution: Call in a professional.

Reason 4: Time Traveler's Delight

It appears someone has been messing with time. Don't ask me, don't ask me.