Minutes of the Pretzel Substitution Committee

Resolution 1: Pretzel Substitution Protocol

Article I: Definition of Pretzel

Section 1: Pretzel is a type of food made from twisted dough

Section 2: Pretzel is not a substitute for actual progress

Section 3: Pretzel is, in fact, a hindrance to productivity

Article II: Procedures for Pretzel Substitution

Section 1: All meetings shall begin with pretzel consumption

Section 2: All decisions shall be based on pretzel preference

Article III: Penalties for Pretzel Non-Compliance

Section 1: Repeated pretzel non-compliance shall result in a 5-minute recess to consume more pretzels