We believe that the pursuit of burnout is a noble and admirable goal. Our team's collective exhaustion is a badge of honor, a symbol of dedication and hard work. If you can't find us in the office, just know that we're probably in the break room, crying.
We're not just a team, we're a carefully crafted machine designed to slowly strangle our colleagues with a barrage of subtly-worded, yet pointedly-accusatory emails. It's a delicate art, really.
We value knowledge and expertise above all else, except when it's inconvenient to do so. In that case, our team's motto is: "I'm right, you're wrong, and if you disagree, I'll just make a snide remark about your opinion."
Our team is a masterclass in creating and enforcing unnecessary procedures, policies, and protocols. We've got 17 different forms for a simple coffee request. It's a beautiful thing, really.