Art thou a leader of men, a king of the boardroom, a lord of the cubicles? Then thou shalt heed this sacred text, for it holdeth the secrets of the ancient art of Caffeine-Fueled Micromanaging.
For too long, the world hath suffered under the tyranny of the slow and plodding, the uninspired and uninspiring. But fear not, for we have found the key to unlocking the true potential of our workforce: CAFFEINE.
With a cup of the good stuff in hand, thou shalt be able to:
But beware, for with great power comes great responsibility. Thou shalt not abuse this gift, lest thou fall into the abyss of the coffee-fueled vortex.
For more information, see our Appendix
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, our Secret Caffeine Formula
And, for the love of all that is holy, our Caffeine-Fueled Micromanaging Tips
We also have a Tips from the Guru , who shall impart unto thee the ancient wisdom of Caffeine-Fueled Micromanaging.
Caffeine-Fueled Micromanaging Algorithm 1. Drink coffee 2. Stare at people 3. Make loud, authoritative noises 4. Repeat steps 1-3 ad infinitum