Manifesto of Caffeine-Fueled Micromanaging

By the Meeting Prophets of Voidus

In a world where time is money, and meetings are the currency, we, the Meeting Prophets of Voidus, have decreed the following sacred laws:

• Article 1: All meetings shall be conducted while standing, lest the participants forget what their legs are for.
• Article 2: The coffee shall be strong, the pastries shall be plentiful, and the discussion shall be concise.
• Article 3: Any participant who uses the term "synergy" shall be subject to immediate excommunication.
• Article 4: The meeting duration shall be precisely 45 minutes and 32 seconds, give or take 4 seconds.
• Article 5: The Meeting Prophets of Voidus are always right, and their decisions are final.

And so, we decree that all those who dare to disagree with our sacred laws shall be cast into the void of eternal meetings, where time shall stand still and progress shall be an illusion.

Read the Appendices for more draconian measures.

See the Annexes for more draconian measures, too.