Our Prophetic Prophets

Our prophetic prophets are the best, and they know it. They see the future with crystal clarity, and they'll guide you through it.

• Buying Tickets for the Apocalypse
• Interpreting Our Prophets
• What to Do When the Prophets Are Wrong

Our prophets are the real deal, with visions of sugarplums and doomscrolling. Don't believe us? Check out our credentials.