Prophet Bob's Astrology of Doom

Marriage Astrology: Because Your Love is a Black Hole

Prophet Bob's patented method of analyzing the stars to predict the inevitable collapse of your union. Don't say we didn't warn you...

Step 1: Determine the compatibility of your zodiac signs.

Take the Compatibility Quiz ( Warning: May trigger existential dread.)

Step 2: Consult the Cosmic Alignment Chart.

View Chart Now (Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not ask about the 'love' chart.)

Prophet Bob's Special Offers:

We offer a variety of services to ensure the impending doom of your relationship, including:

Consulting Fees (starting at $100/hour)

Relationship Sabotage Packages (starting at $500)

Love Coaching (guaranteed to fail)