Warning: The following are not actually real events, but rather the ramblings of a slightly unhinged individual who claims to have seen into the future.
Forecasts:
- The world will end in 2025 due to an unspecified but inevitable catastrophe.
- The price of avocado toast will rise to $50 per serving.
- The color pink will be banned in all forms of art.
Forewarnings:
- Beware the Sudden Onset of Disco Fever, wherein all inhabitants of the planet will be compelled to dance the Hustle.
- A new species of sentient, giant spiders will emerge and demand world domination.
- The phrase "I told you so" will become a national motto.