Welcome, attendees, to the meeting that has been going on for what feels like an eternity! We're not quite sure when we started, but we're pretty sure it's been at least 4 years now.
Today's agenda will feature the usual suspects: "The State of our Project", "The Future of our Project", and "The Past of our Project" (just in case you were wondering, we're not really sure what that means, but it sounds important).
Please note that we're not actually doing anything productive today, so feel free to bring a snack or a book to read. Or both, we won't judge.
Because you asked for it, we're including a list of meetings that will never actually happen. Because, honestly, why not?