The Apocalypse is Coming. Like, Eventually.

We are gathering today to discuss the impending doom that is sure to arrive in the next 5-7 years. Please take a seat and try not to be too attached to your current reality.

Agenda:

1. The apocalypse will arrive in 5-7 years, give or take a few years. We'll discuss the specifics of this timeframe.

2. We will go over the various methods of survival, including but not limited to: hiding under a bed, building a bunker, and becoming a professional snail trainer.

3. A Q&A session will be held where you can ask the inevitable questions you have about the apocalypse.