Meeting Prophets: Avoidance Tactics

Meetings can be a real productivity sinkhole. That's why we've compiled a list of expert-level avoidance tactics from the Meeting Prophets themselves.

These masters of the universe have mastered the art of attending meetings without actually doing any work. Here are their top tips:

• The 5-Second Rule: Pretend to Listen for 5 Seconds Before Making a Dramatic Exit
• The Art of the Quick Exit: Leave Early, But Not Too Early, and Always With a Sudden, Dramatic Sigh
• The 3-Part Rule: Appear Interested, Appear Productive, but Actually Just Scroll Through Email on Your Phone
• The 3-Word Answer: "I'll Get On That"
• The 5-Word Rule: "I'll Get Right On That, But First Let Me Finish This Other Thing I Was Working On"
• The Art of the Sudden, Unplanned Break: "Excuse Me, I Need to Go Get Some Coffee"
• The 2-Hour Meeting Rule: Make the Meeting Last Exactly 2 Hours, No More, No Less
• The 10-Second Rule: Make the Meeting Last Exactly 10 Seconds, and Use the Time to Check Email
• The Art of the Fake Agenda: Create a Fake List of Tasks to Discuss, But Actually Just Talk About Your Weekend Plans
• The 20-Minute Rule: Make the Meeting Last Exactly 20 Minutes, and Use the Time to Check Social Media

These tactics are not for the faint of heart. Use them at your own risk.

Or, just don't.