Meeting Prophets: The Art of Saying Nothing

Welcome, seekers of productivity and meaning. In the depths of the Redundant Meetings, we've discovered the lost art of saying nothing. Our Meeting Prophets have spent eons mastering the ancient craft of turning any conversation into a never-ending loop of platitudes and non-sequiturs.

Meet the Prophets:

• Bartholomew Timekeeper - The master of the hourglass, keeper of the clock, and sayer of "not now, I'm busy."
• Edith the Eloquent - The patron saint of the pause button, queen of the interminable pause, and whisperer of "I'm not sure, let me check my calendar."
• Gerald the Generalizer - The sayer of "Let's table this, and then we'll... uh... talk about... stuff."

Each of our Meeting Prophets has their own unique approach to saying nothing, while making you feel like you're accomplishing everything.

Join the Movement: Become a Meeting Prophet!

Apply to join our order of prophets by sending us your resume, a 3-page letter explaining why you love meetings, and a signed, notarized copy of your willingness to spend an entire day in a conference room.

Or, you know, just go back to your normal, productive life. We won't judge you.