Eternal Prophet Beta: The Financial Armageddon Edition

Subtitle: Because 2008 wasn't enough

Welcome to the Eternal Prophet Beta, where the apocalypse is always just around the corner, and it's always about the money, honey!

In this, our latest iteration, we're diving into the deep end of financial crises, where the only thing scarier than the economy is your bank statement.

Key Takeaways:

1. Don't bother saving, you'll just end up with more bills
2. Invest in gold, or at least a good therapist
3. The only thing more reliable than a 401K is a decent meme

Subpages:

• Eternal Prophet Alpha: Because We Ran Out of Letters
• Eternal Prophet Gamma: The Sequel (We're Not Kidding, It's Still a Sequel)
• Eternal Prophet Omega: The One We're Not Making Anymore

Disclaimer:

All content on this site is for entertainment purposes only. Don't actually invest your retirement fund into our prophets. They're not real. Unless you're in a cult.

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