Welcome to the office of Dionysus, Prophets of the Apocalypse! Today's schedule is filled with existential dread and impending doom.
Meet our team of prophets, who have seen the end of the world and lived to tell the tale:
Expert in the field of mechanical domination, this prophet has foreseen the rise of the machines and lived to warn you.
Learn more about the Robot UprisingThis prophet sees the writing on the wall and knows that the apocalypse will come not with fire and brimstone, but with an icepick and a bemused expression.
Learn more about the Ice AgeThis prophet foresees a world where everyone is stuck in a never-ending cycle of financial insecurity and crippling student debt.
Learn more about the Eternal RecessionDon't forget to check back with us for more updates on the impending doom that is to come!