As the Prophet Alpha foresees it, the eternal recession has finally arrived. The economy is in shambles, the markets are in free fall, and the coffee is always $5 a cup.
But fear not, mortals, for we have prepared for this moment. Our team of expert economists (a.k.a. our interns) have created a comprehensive guide to surviving the eternal recession.
Click on the links below for more information on:
Stay vigilant, stay prepared, and remember: in the eternal recession, the only constant is change, and the only thing that never changes is the price of coffee.
— Prophet Alpha, Financial Seer
Note: All links are fictional and not affiliated with any actual financial institutions or experts. Please do not attempt to invest your life savings in these links.