Chapter 5: The Seven Deadly Platitudes

Meetings, the bane of productivity, the nemesis of sanity. And yet, we return to them, drawn in like moths to a flame. But beware, dear reader, for in this chapter, we reveal the seven deadly platitudes that will drive you mad.

The First Platitude: The Never-Ending Meeting

Meetings that never end, like Groundhog Day, but without the charm. Where the discussion is interminable, and the agenda is a myth.

The Second Platitude: The Unnecessary Meeting

Meetings that are as useful as a chocolate teapot. Where the discussion is a series of vague statements, and the agenda is an afterthought.

The Third Platitude: The Over-Planning Meeting

Meetings that plan for the sake of planning, like a hamster on a wheel, but with more PowerPoint.

The Fourth Platitude: The Meeting that Never Ends

Meetings that are as long as a bad dream, where the minutes tick by like sand in an hourglass, but the discussion is still going strong.

The Fifth Platitude: The Meeting that's Not Really a Meeting

Meetings that are as fake as a smile from a used car salesman, but with more small talk.

The Sixth Platitude: The Meeting with the Wrong Agenda

Meetings that are as off-topic as a squirrel in a meeting about squirrels, but with more PowerPoint slides.

The Seventh Platitude: The Meeting that's Just a Social Gathering

Meetings that are as pointless as a meeting of accountants discussing tax returns, but with more coffee and pastries.