John's Award-Winning Resume

John has won a total of 17 awards in his illustrious career, which is impressive, but also slightly suspicious.

Award 1: The Golden Scone

For being the only person to eat an entire box of scones in one sitting. (2018)

For consistently falling asleep in meetings and still managing to get promoted. (2019)

And 15 more!

Or, if you're feeling overwhelmed, you can just Panic