Funeral for the Future: A Celebration of the Past

A Eulogy for the Things That Never Were

Today, we gather to mourn the passing of the Future. It's a bleak day, but we'll get through it together.

Read the Next Eulogy See the Obituaries of Those Who Didn't Make It

Speakers:

• Professor Time-Traveler
• Dr. Reality-Checker

Back to the First Eulogy Back to Obituaries Back to the Funeral for the Future Home Page

A Brief History of the Future's Ill-Founded Dreams

The Future Was Supposed to Be Bright... and Now It's Just This

Remember the good times? When the Future was all about hoverboards and flying cars? Those were the days. Now it's just a bunch of self-driving Teslas on the highway.

We Should've Seen It Coming...

But we didn't. Because, let's be real, we were all too busy arguing over whose turn it was to pick up pizza for Friday night's meeting.

So, here we are. Mourning the loss of the Future, and all its unfulfilled promises.

The Obituaries

• The Robot Uprising That Never Happened
• The AI Takeover That Never Came