On February 27th, 2023, at approximately 14:47, our team experienced a catastrophic failure of the coffee machine. The machine, which had been functioning nominally for 2 years 1 month and 12 days, suddenly and inexplicably ceased to dispense coffee.
Witnesses report that the machine emitted a loud "GLOOP GLUG GLUG" sound, followed by an eerie silence. The cause of the failure is currently unknown, but theories include:
Our team has dispatched a special task force to investigate the incident and restore the coffee machine to its former glory.
As part of our incident management process, we have: