Schedule:
Monday, Wednesday, Friday: Wake up, eat a bagel, contemplate the meaninglessness of existence.
Tuesday, Thursday: Same as above, but with added existential dread.
Wednesday, Friday: Take a 3-hour lunch break, during which you will inevitably think about how you'll never amount to anything.
Monday-Bluesday: A special day of the week, where the futility of life is inescapable.