MONDAY MANDATES: EXTRINSIC CAFFEINE

By order of the Supreme Monday Mandate, all employees are required to consume a minimum of 5 shots of espresso per hour.

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Excessive yawning
• Unacceptable levels of productivity
• Unwillingness to participate in meetings

For those seeking to appeal this mandate, please visit our appeal process page.

Or, if you're feeling particularly motivated, try our Mandate-Breaker 3000 to see if you can beat the system!