Mandate #9

By order of the Supreme Mandate-ers,
all employees are required to:

• Arrive at work on time, with a minimum of 5 minutes to spare.
• Wear the mandated uniform of neon pink pants and a 'I'm a professional' badge.
• Eat a free, government-issued lunch of plain toast and tap water.
• Attend a mandatory meeting to discuss the importance of productivity and synergy.
• Be on time for said meeting, or face the consequences.

Failure to comply will result in:

• Loss of 5 minutes of paid vacation time.
• Assignment of an extra shift on a Saturday.
• Forced attendance at an 'optional' team-building retreat.

Click here for Mandate #10, the infamous 'Pineapple Pizza Policy'.

Back to the main Mandate page