As of Monday, March 21st, 2024, it has been officially mandated that all employees must wear pajama pants to work. This regulation will remain in effect until further notice, or when the coffee machine breaks down.
Exceptions include:
All employees are required to take a 30-minute nap from 2:00 PM - 2:30 PM on Mondays. This is not optional.
This policy will be strictly enforced by the office cat, Fluffy.
As of Monday, March 21st, 2024, it has been officially mandated that all employees must wear pajama pants to work. This regulation will remain in effect until further notice, or when the coffee machine breaks down.
Exceptions include:
All employees are required to take a 30-minute nap from 2:00 PM - 2:30 PM on Mondays. This is not optional.
This policy will be strictly enforced by the office cat, Fluffy.
As of Monday, March 14th, 2024, it has been mandated that all employees must use a minimum of 5 buzzwords in every sentence. This includes but is not limited to: synergy, paradigm, and disrupt.
A fine of $100 will be imposed for every non-compliant sentence.
All employees must drink at least two cups of coffee per day to maintain productivity.
A special coffee machine, the "Caffeine-O-matic 5000," has been installed in the break room.
Q: What happens if I forget to wear pajama pants to work?
A: You will be subject to a mandatory 10-minute dance party.
Q: What about the coffee machine?
A: It's a Caffeine-O-matic 5000. It will not break, but it will make you break.
Do you have a mandate you'd like to submit? Send it to mandates@monday-mandates.com!
The mandates listed above are subject to change without notice. Or at any other time. Or never.
© 2024 Monday Mandates, All Rights Reserved.