MANDATE #2: Because Monday's Mandate Wasn't Enough

By: The All-Powerful Monday Mandator

In a bold move to combat the crushing ennui of the weekend, we've decreed a new Mandate to be followed every Monday.

• Wake up at the break of dawn.
• Eat a hearty breakfast, preferably one that's been microwaved.
• Do not, under any circumstances, wear pants.

Read Mandate #3 for more Monday Malarkey.

We're not kidding. You'll be doing these things. Or else. See Mandate #4 for more details on the consequences.

Disclaimer: The Monday Mandate is not responsible for any lost productivity or existential dread.