MANDATE #2: Break Room Bliss

From the Desk of Management

In accordance with our completely-not-outdated policies and procedures, we hereby mandate the following:

All employees are required to wear their name tags at all times while in the break room. Failure to do so will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Being forced to listen to HR's 3-hour presentation on "The Importance of Name Tags in the Modern Workplace"
• Having to attend a mandatory meeting with the CEO to discuss "The History of Name Tags in the Industry"
• Being forced to wear a "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt with a picture of the CEO on it

Proceed to Mandate #3: The Coffee Machine is Not a Time Machine

Go back to Mandate #1: Mandatory Friday Afternoon Meetings

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View Mandate #4: The Microwave is Not a Social Hub