Gastro-Defense Protocol
In the event of a Fart Attack, the following protocols must be followed:
- Deploy the Fart-Deflector Shield
- Engage the Silence-O-Matic device
- Initiate the Air-Purification System (APS)
Technical Specifications
For optimal Fart-Attack defense, the following equipment must be installed:
- Fart-Deflector Shield Model: FDS-1000
- Silence-O-Matic Device Version: SOM-D1.0
- APS System: APS-500
Note: All equipment must be installed on a flat, level surface, and at least 5 feet away from any windows.