Weekly Astrological Forecast for Aries

Aries, you will today experience the thrilling sensation of minor victories in the mundane routine you've been doing for years. Your coworkers will appreciate your 'contribution' to the team, and your significant other will be mildly impressed by your 'effort'. Don't get too excited, though, as this is just the calm before the storm of actual accomplishment.

On a more serious note, be prepared for a 3% increase in coffee consumption, a 5% increase in existential dread, and a 20% chance of spontaneous decision-making.

Recommended activities for the day include:

• Reorganizing your desk drawers
• Relearning the art of 'not checking your phone during meetings'
• Revisiting your 'bucket list' and deciding you'll never actually do any of it