Are you tired of being successful? Sick of achieving your goals? Do you find yourself constantly thwarted by your own competence? Welcome to Prohibited Activities: Tips for Failures!
Step 1: Create a To-Don't List - Write down all the things you don't need to do today, tomorrow, and this week.
Step 2: Prioritize Binge-Watching - Make sure to schedule at least 12 hours of TV time into your day. Your couch will thank you.
Step 3: Develop a Healthy Obsession with Cat Videos - Nothing says "failure" like spending 5 hours a day watching cat videos.
Learn more about Advanced Procrastination Techniques
Step 1: Show Up, Not Show Off - Just enough to be present, but not enough to actually contribute. That's the key.
Step 2: Use the Power of the "Good Enough" Excuse - Who needs perfection when "good enough" is, well, good enough?
Step 3: Master the Art of the 30-Minute Meeting - Show up, talk for 30 minutes, and leave. Repeat as necessary.
Discover more Minimum Effort Secrets
Step 1: Avoid Risks - Play it safe! Who needs to take a chance when you can take a pass?
Step 2: Use the Force of Bureaucracy - Let the system work for you, not against you. Unless you're in a rush, then just give up.
Step 3: Learn to Love the Status Quo - Embrace the mediocrity of your current situation. Who needs improvement when you can just be average?
Read more about living a life that's just okay
And that's a wrap! Congratulations, you're now an expert at failing!