Pesto Horoscopes by Prophet Kairos

Welcome, seekers of cosmic truth! Pesto Horoscopes are here to guide you through the turbulent waters of life. Today, I shall reveal the secrets of the universe, one pasta sauce at a time.

For the month of May, you should expect:

• Leo: Your love life will be like a plate of spaghetti - tangled and messy, but somehow, it works.
• Virgo: Your career will be a never-ending quest for the perfect sauce, but you'll get there eventually.
• Libra: Your friends will be like a pinch of parmesan - they'll add flavor, but also make things complicated.