Private Island Subsidies

Because the Apocalypse was just a minor setback

Are you tired of the endless economic downturn? Do you dream of escaping the hordes of desperate survivors and finding a place to call your own in a post-apocalyptic world?

Look no further! Our private island subsidies program is here to help. With a generous allocation of scavenged materials and a team of highly trained, heavily armed island managers, you'll be living the high life in no time.

Island Amenities:

• State-of-the-art fallout shelter
• Private beach with complimentary doomsday bunker access
• On-site, expertly trained apocalypse survival instructor
• Built-in, automated, and heavily fortified snack bar
• Optional: on-island, expertly trained ninja squad (additional fees apply)

Don't wait any longer! Apply now for your chance to live the life of luxury in a world gone mad.

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